I knew that having a baby was a big deal. I mean come on, you're responsible for a live human being pretty much for the rest of your life. What I didn't know is how much faith it really takes to step into this unknown adventure. Even though it is your child and you learn something new every day, there is still so much that you don't know. I often think about my daughter's future and how I might not be able to protect her. I look at this little fragile human being who is dependent on me and it often makes me cry because I question myself whether or not I'm giving her everything she needs.
Your baby has physical needs and every mother knows that it can be a challenging task to be on call all day, every day/night and seven days a week. Sometimes I don't even know what does the word 'WEEKEND' mean even though I do appreciate my husband's help when he is home. It's a struggle of being so in love with your baby that you do not want to leave her, but then again you do want that ten-minute hot shower so that you can feel like a human again. When Ryan took me out on our first date alone, I actually got upset with him. I know that he wanted to treat me and surprise me but to leave my baby for the first time was a hard feeling to choke down. I know that some mothers are very outgoing and they love to go out and leave their kids for a couple of hours with no problems (and that is perfectly fine, that is just not me:). Even though it can be very refreshing, I am more of a homebody and I love spending my time at home, cleaning, cooking, decorating, blogging and etc.
When we first discussed having children, I had reservations and these were my exact words to my husband, 'it's a big deal because it is a live human being that you are responsible for the rest of your life.' It is not like it is a seasonal thing. You are a parent forever. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I knew that there is great joy in having children and along with that comes great challenges that we would face in different seasons of their life.
So to sum this job description up, I would have to say that this is the hardest job on the planet. Even though physically it can be very demanding, it is only a small portion of what your child needs. I truly think that is the reason this job is so challenging. You grow a tremendous attachment to your child. You carry it in your womb for months and then experience the unpredictable labor, which follows your baby's delivery, which ends up being only the beginning of a marathon. (physically, mentally, emotionally and etc.)
Don't get me wrong, I am not writing this to complain or to discourage anyone in their pursuit of being a parent. I am only sharing my thoughts and experience in hopes of enlightening those of you that may not be there yet but are planning to be in the future. I am writing this to encourage Moms out there and give them a shout-out because many people may not understand what you are going through or how hard you've been working without a pat on the back. Let's face it, you don't get a cheerleader for every day of your 'Mom Life,' in fact, you have to be that cheerleader. Somewhere between those sleepless nights and emotional days, you get a smile from your baby and somehow that gives you a boost to continue to give the best to your child. To all the Moms out there, I am with you!
PS. I feel like writing all of these thoughts out is some sort of a therapy for me and I hope that you find these thoughts comforting and helpful! :)
Create Coleture, Be YOU
Viktoriya Cole